Saturday, August 4, 2012

I'm baaaaackkkk...

...on track and online.  What a hell year it's been and it ain't over yet.  With moving back to Asia, the death of a dear friend, the return of the Hashi monster, long hours at work (hey, I do this job cos you generally don't have to work every bloody hour under the sun), money struggles, apartment woes (more on this later) and now job insecurity, I think I'll write this year off as a whole lot of nothing but pain.  


Things are starting to look up though. After battling the return of full on Hashi symptoms (BTW, I think I'm an Ord's, not a Hashi - same same but different) since last November, I am finally winning again.  In the past month, I have lost about 5 of the 8 kgs I had put on, and while everyone at work is catching the flu bug that's going around the teachers' room, I'm actually bouncing around. 


As I've noticed in the past, it seems that I battle on and on and nothing changes, then suddenly I wake up one morning and a switch has been flipped. I have energy: I immediately fall into a more active routine, I don't need coffee and I can tolerate being hungry, which of course means I can get back onto calorie restriction. 


The question is whether there is an accumulation of efforts that finally start to pay off, a daily falling of another domino in a very long line to reach a final goal, or is there a trigger, something that tips the balance in my favour.  Being the tipping point theory kind of gal that I am, I'm going with the second theory (I'm fairly sure that most of our doctors think along the lines of the first option - even the good ones).  Anyone who has experienced this 'flipping of the switch,' knows that this works both ways, i.e. on AND off. And once we've had that 'ON' experience, we want to find the trigger, aka "THE MAGIC BULLET." 


Magic bullets don't exist, and we know that, but we still look for them. I think we do that because we innately know that we need to add something to the mix of good things that we are already doing in order to tip the balance in our favour. Once this happens, it's like pushing over that first domino. In my case, that first domino had been firmly glued to the floor until 4 weeks ago.


So what's my tipping point? I'm beginning to think that it's cholesterol. Occasionally I've just gotta eat cholesterol laden food. This is not only contrary to everything I think I know about what is healthy to eat, but also contrary to the kinds of foods and flavours that I like to eat. Most of my life I've eaten very low fat, very fresh and 'zingy' kinds of foods. I do like some sweet stuff, but it is not the stuff of my life and I can happily go without it when I'm on track. 


I'm beginning to put together a picture of how this craving works. Thyroid, pancreas, adrenal glands; the trinity of health & well being. If you have issues with one of these three, odds on another one will be playing some kind of role, either obviously or subtly.  I have blood sugar issues in that my blood sugar can suddenly plummet and I lose conciousness. I have been repeated tested for diabetes and not only do I not have it, all indicators apart from weight show I'm really not likely to develop it. I did experience a noticeable jump in cholesterol level when the OFF switch was triggered in November, but it only went from lower than low to high-normal, which the doctor thought was fine. I didn't. I usually have very low cholesterol. There's a clue in there somewhere.  I control my blood sugar by spreading out my daily protein requirements over breakfast, lunch and dinner. My protein of choice is any high-quality, low fat animal flesh.  So there's a corner of the triangle.


Another corner of the triangle is the one that I'm just beginning to get an idea about.  I've read a lot about the adrenal glands over the years and a couple of small details keep coming back to me. The adrenals need a little bit of cholesterol to get them going and to keep them going. This is one of things that goes badly wrong in babies who are put on extreme diets by misguided parents.  Recently I read that when your body is not getting enough thyroid hormone, the adrenals work harder to compensate.  I had been experiencing little bursts of adrenaline over very small incidents that mentally barely registered but to which I had this physical overreaction. They really were WTF? moments: Another clue. Five weeks ago I went to Vietnam for a few days and while there experienced severe cravings for cholesterol laden BBQ ribs. The Vietnamese do the best ribs ever so I 'indulged,' accompanied by much self recrimination. Three days later, the switch went ON.


In hindsight, this pattern has repeated itself a number of times in my life.  But, it only works in one direction i.e. low fat, low cholesterol diet that needs the occasional boost of cholesterol. My Nana swore by the intake of cholesterol, claiming that it "oiled the insides," while I poo-pooed her idea.  Perhaps if she had said it "oiled the adrenal glands" I might have taken more notice. Apart from arthritis & finally dementia, she enjoyed good health for most of her 93 or 94 years, so maybe I should just have taken more notice full stop.  Oh, yes I almost forgot. She had Hashimoto's too. 

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Slowly, slowly catchee monkey...

Progress has been slow, but progress nonetheless.  I've lost 2 inches off my waist since the last post but I haven't felt as though I've been losing weight. Perhaps it's moving around? I did get weighed at the doctor's this past week, and confirmed that I've put on 8kgs since December. Sheee-it!!! Doc is worried by the rapid gain. I've had (almost) all the brakes on for a while but it's still been climbing. 


On the positive side, my TSH is on the way back down. After being 5.4 in May last year and 5.1 in December, it's now 3.82. The integrated physician I saw last year wanted me to aim for 2.0 as she uses a very narrow band (as it should be). T4 is 15.4 (don't think that's free T4, not sure I can get that tested here) . The last result I have for this is from about November 2010 at 17.8. I was just looking at the 'normal' range for T4, 9.2 to 23.9, and realised that this was borderline low in my late 20's. I remember a consultation about thyroid, and that the bottom of the range was 9.2 and I was 9.1 or 9.2. The doctor, of course, dismissed this as being in my head (how the f**k does that work?) and not a problem. It clearly was a problem.


The doc didn't retest my iron, but I been having something of a red meat fest (lean beef and chicken livers) following which my energy levels have perked up no end. I guess I was still borderline low and just needed to get on top of it. Anyway, my energy levels are rising so I actually did some exercise today.  I went for a 25 minute walk and followed that up with 3 one minute run, one minute rest cycles to test out that 3 minute exercise theory.  I feel really great. It feels like I have had an hour in the gym, and I've done hardly anything. Best of all, I haven't blown out my knee. Anyway, I'm going to keep up the 3 minute running thing and see how it goes,  and how my knee goes. 


Other dietary stuff: I forgot about sugar, rather my problem with sugar. If I have even a small amount of sugar in my diet, I can't stick to my diet. It makes me crazy with cravings. I started including a little sugar again after I had the major hypoglycaemic attack last year, but forgot to phase it out again.  I've now gotten rid of most of the sugar but still have the yoghurt problem. Yoghurt here is either low fat with sugar or no sugar but full fat and often with cream in it. In fact, it's so creamy that sometimes it just tastes rotten rather than activated by probiotics.  I will have to make my own. In the meantime, I'm having low fat with sugar but this is my only source of this white poison. I've taken to buying a pile of individual yoghurts and throwing them in the freezer.  I turn one out and put it in a nice glass with some passionfruit drizzled over, and then it takes a good 20 minutes of attack to eat it. This has solved one of my big problems with yogurt: a portion is over so quickly it leaves me wanting more. This way by the time I've finished my brain thinks it's had a right old yogurt feast. Other mind/food games trickery I'm employing includes carrots, chewing gum, ice-cubes and green tea made into ice-cubes. Slowly I am defeating the sugar demon. A major bonus with this is that as the sugar is coming under control, my alcoholic tendencies have dried up. Another thing I had forgotten about.


I have one more month left on my 3 month lease and I've decided to move into the main part of the city. It's too isolated for me out here on the edge of town even though I love the peace and quiet and big open areas. It's important I spend more time around friends, but it's not only too far away where I am, it can also be quite dangerous at night so I avoid tuk-tuking after dark. This has severely limited my social life, and is not good for my head space.  I just need to choose an apartment carefully to make sure it's quiet enough for me. Oh, and it has to have a good kitchen.  I would also be very close to the riverside which is great for walking, running, outdoor exercise classes, not to mention all the cafes and restaurants and people watching - believe me, there's a hell of a lot to watch there.


Well, it's back to work tomorrow. I think I've managed to use the break time for some good. I could have been more onto things and more dedicated, but hell I'm coming back from zero motivation to actually running so I can't beat myself up for only getting to that part on the last vacation day.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Baby steps...again...

OK, so I've made a couple of small changes for some noticeable benefits.  The chocolate bug bit me big time during the week so I bit back with a bit of a rum and raisin chocolate bar binge.  Strangely enough, that sorted out my salt cravings, although has left me with the urge to overuse the letter 'b'. I'm back to my regular level of salt intake, which is probably more than what is recommended anyway, but then, I don't have high blood pressure, heart problems or anything else that warrants reduced salt intake. I do get low blood pressure and occasionally very low bloody sugar and an adequate salt intake seems to help keep me in some kind of balance.  While living in Oz, I did pass out from low blood sugar so I'm rather keen for this not to happen again. 


One small step was to stop taking the Levothyroxine from Australia and go back to the French generic stuff I used here before. One small step, one big improvement, a fraction of the price. My body actually feels like it's getting some thryoid hormone now.


I have not made it to the gym yet to try the "3 minute workout." End of term is coming up in two weeks and I'll be using that time to set in some exercise routines, including giving this one a go. I will also be buying a bicycle this pay day, which coincides nicely with the last day of term. I have some time over the break to develop the confidence/skills necessary to take on the erratically speeding SUV monster pin balls that are a feature of the traffic here. I have managed to do some walking around my neighbourhood, although in some pain.  That was more than compensated for by the genuinely friendly locals and kids who greeted me on my way. Even the dogs were better behaved than in town. 


Pain levels overall have reduced dramatically over the past week, except for the ongoing issue of more titanium in my body than it's comfortable with - literally. Going back to basic broken bone care i.e. staying off it, elevating it etc has sorted out most of that.


As for the weight I've put on, I feel as though I'm on the verge of going into weight loss mode. I just need to push things a bit harder in that area and I think it will slot back into place. The next two weeks provide an ideal opportunity to get back on that horse, so high-ho Silver, away!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Neglect...

Neglect seems to be a theme running through my life right now.  The return-with-a-vengence thyroid symptoms have been snowballing since about 6-8 weeks before I left Australia, and I feel like I'm dealing with a giant fluoride hangover.  As we Hashis (or semi-Hashis, who sometimes test positive and sometimes test negative but still have symptoms - can someone please explain that one to me) know, while one is in the midst of a thyroid disaster, one forgets to do any and all of the positive things that previously had kept us on the rather straight and narrow path that is living successfully with this sucker.  


We forget to do these things because the thyroid fog is so thick we can't see them anymore, and once they cease to be part of our daily mental inventory, they may as well have never existed.  One of the reasons I started this blog was so that if/when I had a major relapse, I could go back to the beginning of it to remind myself just what the bloody hell I'm supposed to be doing about it.  Unfortunately, I have also been neglecting the blog, so I forgot to look.


On top of whatever the hell it was that Australia did to ruin my delicately balanced constitution, there was the fact that I flew to get back to Asia, and the hell out of Oz. I don't fly well. In fact, I'm a true Kiwi, i.e. flying is just bloody unnatural. It takes me months to recover from it, which  I would guess has something to do with adrenal exhaustion due to the continuous, highly stressed state I'm in while flying, even with Valium, which unfortunately, does not  make me fly in any sense of the word.  Bloody useless stuff that it is.  And as if I wasn't already overloaded with triggers for a downwardly spiralling thyroid condition, I was living out of hotel rooms until 4 weeks ago. This meant not being able to cook, which in turn meant I wasn't eating properly. 


At that point, I had completely forgotten about the results of the blood tests done just before leaving OZ; thyroid out of whack (ongoing while in Oz), salts out of whack (really need to pay attention to that one), low on B vitamins (despite taking daily), low on Vit D (despite taking daily), low on iron (despite eating chicken livers regularly).  A final couple of straws: money has been a worry, rather the lack of it. This has led to some frugalities that are counter intuitive to the Hashi, as well as the fact that money worries all by themselves are generally enough to make me miserably ill. And last but by no means least, I have some really suck days at work with some really long hours. Again, completely counter-Hashi. 


This all seems to be leading towards some kind of action plan, or at the least, vague promises to stop neglecting self and do something.  But what?


After some considerable disruption, my sleep is returning to a normal pattern, but it's has once again become the unrefreshing variety. I was having difficulty falling asleep which is really unusual for me given that I can usually fall asleep at the drop of a hat, no matter where I am.  I do sometimes have an awake period during the night when I read or watch TV.   There is a school of thought that now believes this to be entirely natural and in fact, is the human default sleeping pattern: The myth of the eight hour sleep, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783  and Segmented sleep: Ten strange things people do at night, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17193783.  If I start reverting to this again, I'll try to stick with it. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that the middle of the night waking period would probably be the best time to take thyroid medication. 


Exercise is as usual a collosal blind spot.  I am experiencing a lot of joint pain, which doesn't mean jack as I've tested negative to all arthritic conditions several times.  It just means my thyroid is tricking my brain into replicating the symptoms of diseases that I don't have. Hand in hand with the joint pain is the pain at the site of every broken bone I've ever had...and there are a few.  Just to ice the pain cake, I also have out of control muscle stiffness and pain.  Oh, and I've put on a serious amount of weight in a short period of time. Given that I can't do a hell of a lot of exercise with my bung knee and unrepaired internal injuries, my interest was peaked by this BBC News article: Can three minutes of exercise a week help make you fit? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17177251. I think I can try to manage to fit in three minutes a week, and who knows? Maybe, I'm one of the lucky 15%. 


As for diet, it is pretty much under control again - not that it was out of control. I was eating like a normal person, which of course is over eating and eating all the wrong things for a Hashi.  I'm having massive salt cravings, which I indulge, and have completely lost my taste for chocolate. I tried a little the other day and felt immensely better for the rest of the day, but I haven't got the urge to rush out and hunt it down. 


What I really need to do is have some follow up blood tests. Due to the expense of the only decent medical facility in town, I've been putting that off. It's becoming a pressing issue though so  I guess I should aim to be stuck like a pin cushion  next week.  I also need to consider that something is really wrong with the levothyroxine I've been using since I arrived in Australia. Change back to the French version I was on here before. Also, get some bloody pain killers. I was raised to be stoic about pain, so I have a tendency to see pain killers as either unnecessary or the enemy, when in fact, they can be my friend. Pain killers allow me to exercise more, sleep better and enjoy a pain holiday.


Now, how many of these things will I remember to do? I'll try to remember to check back here next week to see how well I did with that.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Back in the Penh...

Well here I am back in Phnom Penh a year after leaving. Who would've seen that one coming, huh? I guess if I had gone pretty much anywhere in the world except Australia, it's very likely I would not be back here now. However, I did, and I am. More about that later. For now, I'm on the great accommodation hunt. To start with, I need cooking facilities, and pets must be allowed.


On Christmas Day, I found a teeny little, white-haired, blue-eyed (but not deaf) kitten in a banana tree behind my friend Terrina's house in Ho Chi Minh City. It's not every Christmas that Santa drops a kitten in a banana tree so I couldn't just leave it there. She's having her shots, and then waiting 30 days before she can be exported to Cambodia, along with T's dog Aspen which I'm inheriting as they are going back to New Zealand.


So here I am in Cambodia and I've already got a cat and a dog to think about. I also need a kitchen. If you know me, then you know why. Lunch today consisted of Rocky Chicken Gizzards (like KFC popcorn chicken) and Mixed Balls (3 mystery meat mixes of pork, fish and beef). 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I learnt something new from the doc last week

So as I'm preparing to leave Australia, and so-called civilization, to return to SE Asia, and people who do understand what civilized behaviour actually is, I went to the doctor for a few tests. The thyroid test was the most important one, but we decided to get a whole panel done as well.  


Firstly, my thyroid is out of whack still, which it has been the whole time I've been in Australia. I still believe the primary reason for this is exposure to fluoride, even though I've only used bottled water here.  Fluoride is still present on the fruit and veg that I buy, in any food product I use which needs water during the processing and in the water I shower in, so even though I've tried to avoid fluoride, that has not been entirely possible. 


The doc I saw came up with another reason for my thyroid being out of whack, on this particular test.  About 6 or 7 weeks ago, I had a quinsy, which is an abscess on a tonsil. I'm prone to nasty strep infections and get a really bad one every 3 or 4 years.  I've noticed my entire life, that when I'm sick, I put on weight and continue to do so for months afterwards. The doc said that this is because we need more thyroid hormone when we are ill as well as for a period of time afterwards. In 'normal' people, their thyroid amps up production levels to compensate for the increased demand. People who take thyroid replacement hormones are on a fixed hormone intake so of course, this means the body is not getting what it needs, we put on weight, feel like shite for longer, yada yada yada. This is the first time I've heard of this, but I'm taking it on board and increasing my dose a little for the next few weeks, then repeating the test 6 weeks after the previous one. 


Other interesting results were borderline low iron, low-normal vitamin D, despite taking 1000-2000 whatevers of it a day, and low B vitamins, again despite dosing myself daily.  Basically, I'm going to amp up the vitamin intake and enjoy some chicken liver pate, and then get retested with the thyroid.


I'm really looking forward to my return to SE Asia, Christmas with Terrina and her family in HCMC, returning to Phnom Penh and catching up with everyone and everything there, and getting back into work that is challenging and rewarding in most senses of the word. More money would be good but we can't have everything all the time...

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'll be back...

...around New Year's...