WTF moments this week...

...and there have been a few. The !!!!!!!! one occurred on Thursday afternoon just after I arrived home from work. I passed out. When I woke up some time later (about 40 mins) I was extremely confused, my heart was racing and my legs felt like lead had been transfused into them. It took about half an hour before the nagging thought that I really needed to eat something could push itself hard enough through the utter confusion in my brain to energise me enough to propel me off the couch. I grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which was a potato, bunged it in the microwave and was standing staring at it going around and around (truly an amazing sight when you've left most of your brain function behind) when my flatmate come home all excited about something. All I can remember is being completely flummoxed as to why her mother's dog was in the microwave with my potato. This episode was preceded by feeling cold and clammy all afternoon, as well as several days of minor hypoglycaemic attacks. Note to self: I cannot go 7 hours without food on continuous days and/or when I am busy.


The second and third big WTF!!! moments came at my Saturday morning Weight Watchers meeting. The 'facilitator' of this meeting is something of a witchy kind of cow even on a good day, but this day she decided that she needed to be in control of me. I wear orthotics in my shoes so the weigh-in ladies get me to weigh my shoes first, then put them back on and jump on the scales. Cow-lady decided that I wasn't allowed to do that. Yes, that's right - NOT ALLOWED. And it wasn't just that I wasn't allowed, it was the vicious way she went about it. The woman beside me was quite shocked. Now, I'll tell you what. When I am paying good money for a service and especially a support service, I expect to get bang for my buck, not some sour faced bully-bitch having a go at me because she can't keep her septic personality in check. This wasn't the first time I had witnessed her inner bitch surfacing, as she has been aggressive with members during meetings and often overrode their contributions. I left immediately, went home, cancelled my WW subscription, went shopping for bathroom scales, bought a fabulous, full length, lacy coat-dress with a fur trimmed collar (another inspiration piece), got my hair cut and had a massage. I spent money I'm saving to move into my own apartment but what the hell, it was good therapy. 


The other big WTF moment was actually the result on the scales. After a week of back to the basics dieting (hey, I gave myself a hypoglycaemic attack with it all), I only lost 300 grams. On top of the previous week losing only 200 grams, that tells me SOMETHING IS WRONG. Either the scales lady lied - she did after all have Medusa hanging over her shoulder - or I've got something going on that needs attending to. I suspect a bit of both.


This week's goals are to continue the diet but plan the timing a bit better and be prepared for getting caught short (of food that is), and to get an appointment with a local doctor who practices integrated medicine. I just hope she isn't too busy...

SPIDER ATTACKS CLEAVAGE!!!!

Only momentarily, but yes, that is where a huntsman spider decided to take refuge while I was trying clothes on in  a shop yesterday. I had just taken off a top so was only in my bra when this thing jumped on my left shoulder, ran across it then dived straight in. I immediately yanked my bra off, sending the spider into a pile of clothing on the floor from which it must have made its escape as it wasn't seen again. I didn't scream probably because I didn't have time to but I can now feel a silent scream rattling around my head whenever I think of it. I hate the bloody things.

OK, onto the real business which is the weekly weigh in. I only lost 200 grams.  Although a 200 gram loss is better than a kick in the teeth, it still feels like a kick in the pants so I'm going to focus this week - after drinking too much on Saturday night, that is. I've really got to stop doing that. Also, this week there will be NO CHOCOLATE. Recently, chocolate seems to have taken control of my mind so it's time to take it back. I've bought a couple of pieces of what I call 'challenge' clothing. These are items that I really, really want to wear and can get on, but they are too tight to wear now, so I have to diet to get into them. I have managed to fit into all my previous challenge pieces, which is great, but I've become a bit unmotivated so this should help kick me in the arse.

I'm still exhausted from starting the new job. Some mornings I wake up so zonked that later, I'm not sure if I took my Levo. I'm reasonably certain that I have forgotten a couple of times, which is really not like me at all. I've never had problems remembering to take it before, but I haven't been this bad in the morning for about 10 years. I still haven't completely fixed the water issue so I'm probably still struggling with the bloody fluoride, and whatever the hell else is going on.

Next week is another week so hopefully with a bit more effort, if I can find it in me, I'll have a better result.

Who's been a naughty girl then?

Well, that would be me, wouldn't it! Recently, I've embraced several kinds of naughtiness including overindulging in alcohol, and eating so much chocolate one night that I gave myself a chocolate hangover the next day. On top of feeling the need to feed my body with energy giving, but otherwise empty, nutrients I have been too tired to do much in the way of cooking, walking or any other kind of healthful lifestyle activity. And, whilst in the throws of trying to settle into a new country, new job and new flat, I had completely overlooked the fact that I was experiencing an intensification of thyroid symptoms. That was until the scary little monster decided to assert itself one morning by throwing a spasm fit. I have experienced this before but only when I was at my unmedicated worst. My fuzzy brain still somehow recognised the signal, threw a switch and went - FUUUUUCK! THYROID!!! I had forgotten all about the wee beastie.


By forgotten, I don't mean I had been neglecting to take my meds; I do, everyday, at the same time, religiously - praying at the alter of Levo is my only religion. What I had forgotten was to be self-aware, and to be aware of my environment. Getting a bit fuzzy and bit grumpy is always a sign I'm out of balance, not to mention constipation. Me? Constipated? The Queen of diarrhoea couldn't go? That's a bit of a big sign. As for my environment, it turned out, I have been drinking gallons of thyroid killing, fluoridated water. Whatever little natural function my poor old gland had still been managing to sqeeze out got a massive knock on the head. 


Since the moment my thyroid made me scream fuck inside my head, I have been taking what steps I can to be more supportive of it. Until I can find a proper water filter, I'm back on bottled drinking water. I was rather disgusted at Target (department store) when I went to get a filter there. They have a whole stand of filters and filters jugs to choose from, but they are all made by the same company; a company that believes in the 'wonderful, health giving properties of fluoride,' and proudly point out that their product does not filter out this toxic shit. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT? Actually, I must be getting over the fuzzy-wuzzies as it just occurred to me to complain to Target about that. 


I have also gotten back on the weight watching horse, and in a rather literal sense. I joined Weight Watchers. They have just come out with a completely rewritten plan for weight loss, and one of the really good things for me is that I can fit my crazy little thyroid diet into it. There is no one telling you that you have eat this or that, or can't have any of what you like. I've met other people there who have chronic illnesses, such as Coeliac's & Ulcerative Colitis, which require special diets to be followed, and they also find it's quite easy to meet their specific dietary needs within the plan. The other thing that is good for me is that I can get some support. Still being fresh off the boat, I don't know many people yet and it would be a bit rude to task the ones that I have met with being my weight loss crutch. It does get me up and out the door early on Saturday morning to attend, and it's about a 1/2 hour walk - currently my only intentional exercise. It's amazing/it really sucks how dramatically a thyroid set back also sets back physical function. At this morning's meeting, I weighed in at 79.8kgs so I'm back to about where I was when I left Cambodia - and below the mythical 80kg mark.


I have been rather preoccupied by the various disasters that have occurred; floods & hurricanes in the east of Australia, a heat wave & fires here where I am, the earthquake in Christchurch (family there all OK), and Japan has just been hit with a quadruple whammy - earthquake, tsunami, massive industrial fires and now, a nuclear meltdown imminent. I just wanna know - who the fuck broke the planet?


Next post will be about life on the edge of the known world.